Visitors

We have had a lot of visitors over the past 4 months, so here is a post dedicated just to them. 

 No words just pictures. 

4 Months

This month...

• We attended the MCC Sale

• Eat at 6:30, 9:30, 12:30, 3, 6, 8, 10:30
• Take 2-3 naps during the day and sleep on and off during the evening
• Mom spent a full day at work away from the boys
• Both boys had a major meltdown for dad while mom was at the Fiddler on the Roof.
• Clothing: 3M is snug, 3-6 month fits perfect and 6M is starting to fit really well. 
• They both hold their heads up very well

• One week they started putting their hands in their mouth and the next week they started playing with things that they could easily hold onto
• Like being read to.  The books we read include: Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do you See? Peek-a Who? Hand, Hand, Fingers, Thumb; and Peek-a-Pet?

• One day during playtime I caught the boys holding hands even if they didn’t realize they were doing it, it was still cute.

• Weighs 15 lbs. 2 oz. and is 26 ¾ inches long
• Has been working to rolled over from his back to front all month but hasn’t accomplished it yet
• Has rolled from front to back one time on April 25
• Laughed for is dad on April 21 for the first time the same day Jase rolled over.  Apparently he didn’t want to miss out on showing new tricks that day. 
• Consistently sleeps through the night
• Wants to sit up. He will strain forward while in his car seat or setting in someone’s lap trying to sit up straighter
• He is getting much more vocal and talks louder this month
• Sucks on his thumb from time to time
• Often has his hands in his mouth
• Has drooled a lot this month
• Had his first taste of beef jerky by accident.  Luckily mom caught it in time so he didn’t eat any

• Weighs 14 lbs. 6 oz. and is 26 ½ inches long
• On April 21, Jax was trying so hard to roll over, so I moved him to a different blanket away from Jase so he had room, when I turned back around Jase rolled over from back to front.  He has also rolled over at daycare that week.  
• Laughed at daycare for the first time on April 23 and has given little laughs at home once in a while.
• Mostly sleeps through the night, but has had a few nights where is wakes up at 4-4:30 because he misses mom.  (that is just what I tell myself)
• Has his hands in his mouth a lot
• Likes to study things in his hand like a blanket, toys, etc.
• Holds his arms to his side frequently.  When his is really tired he will put his arms at his sides wanting to be swaddled tightly.

Guess Whooo

Guess whoooo is four months old today?

These two!

I don't have their 4 month pictures taken yet and I need to write about all the new things they are doing, but here are a few pictures in the mean time.  

 Sometimes crying babies are even cute. 

One year ago...

One year ago today, our boys were conceived.  This isn’t a story that people usually recount, especially on the Internet for everyone to read, but our story is a little bit different and the special moment involved Mike and I and at least 5 other people. 

As you probably know by now Mike and I went through In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) to get pregnant and that day, one year ago, was far from the dream that we, or anyone in our situation, would have imaged for the start of our children’s lives.

I made a conscious decision not to blog about our infertility while we were in the thick of it because it was too fresh and I would end up writing harsh rants that I would most likely be embarrassed of later.  I knew that I wanted to share our story one day but I didn’t know when or how it would be.  I’m sure that little bits of our story will continue to trickle out in the months and years to come, but today I am sharing about the day our boys were conceived. 

Mike and I drove to Omaha the morning of our transfer, which was at 10:45 am, with positive feelings.  My retrieval five days earlier had gone well (after Mike and the doctor had some heated words in the hallway) and they had retrieved 13 eggs and a good number of them had fertilized, so we felt confident that we would be able to transfer two and have several leftover to freeze for the future.  They always told us that quality was better than quantity and we felt that we had achieved that this time around after retrieving 20 eggs the first time and having no luck getting pregnant after three different transfers. 

We also knew that I had a chemical pregnancy in January, so my body had a taste of what it would be like to be pregnant, so hopefully it would know what to do this time.

When we arrived at the clinic we checked in at the front desk where they already knew who we were just by looking at us since we had been there so much.  We paid the transfer day amount and waited in the waiting room for the nurse in scrubs and a hairnet to come call our name.  By the end of our trips to the clinic we could pretty much guess what people were there for based on which nurses called them back into the clinic. 

Once we were called back we went to the dressing room to change into our blue paper outfits complete with hairnets and shoe covers.  I of course just had a sheet covering me from the waist down. 

Then we went to the “holding area” where you wait in a comfy chair covered with a warm towel while the person before you is in the operating room.  This is where our day turned a shade of gray when the doctor told us that we only had three embryos left. He recommended that we transfer them all because they likely wouldn’t survive freezing and thawing for future transfers.  One of the embryos looked very good, one of the embryos looked okay and the third embryo had an area that looked like a bubble on one edge, which wasn’t the best.  Of course we took the doctors advice because there really isn’t anything else you can do at that point. 

 

While we continued to wait and stew silently about the news we had just been told, the anesthesiologist tried to make small talk, which put us in even a worse mood since the guy clearly had no clue who we were.  He thought I was a 6^th grade teacher and tried to joke about how crazy kids are.  I didn’t expect him to know all of our history because they see a lot of people, but I had just talked to him on the phone twice the week before, he put me under five days earlier and this wasn’t our first go around.  This is why we felt even more frustrated when he explained that we would be fine during this procedure because it was just like an IUI, which he had assumed we had done before.   Mike and I were very polite and didn’t say much but we were thinking, “of course we know what it will be like because this is our fourth time in this room for this procedure, not to mention the 4 IUI’s before that.“

Finally it was our turn to go to the operating room. I’m sure every clinic has a slightly different way they do things, but at our clinic you laid on the operating table.  They get you all set up.  A nurse comes to ask your name and birth date to make sure it matches your wristband so you get the right embryos. They start an external ultrasound, which is slightly uncomfortable since you have to have a full bladder and they keep pressing on your stomach. The doctor gets everything set and the catheter into the uterus, which you can see on the ultrasound.  They call for the embryos and a lab person comes into the room announcing her entrance.  She stands on a stool next to the operating table and assists the doctor in getting the embryos into the catheter.  Once you see the little sac of air register on the ultrasound they tell you the embryos are in.  Then the lab person goes back out of the room to examine the straw with a microscope to make sure all of the embryos were expelled while you awkwardly wait with your legs in the air.  Then the lab person comes back into the room and gives the “all clear”. At this point the room clears out and you get to wait for 5-15 minutes, while holding your still full bladder, as a precaution to make sure the embryos stay where they are suppose to.   

For us everything was business as usual except I remember it taking the doctor longer to place the catheter than it had during past times and there weren’t many encouraging words from the nurses while we waited in the operating room after the procedure.  They knew we had done this many times before and knew that we didn’t need to hear the “it will happen if its meant to happen speech.”

 I’m not sure what Mike was thinking during the procedure and while we waited, but I had little hope.  My thoughts consisted of the following: “this isn’t going to work,” “we are going to have to do IVF again,” “we are going to have to go to Denver or Las Vegas or farther to get pregnant,” “we are never going to get pregnant,” “how much of this can we afford,” “how are we going to know when we should just stop,” “we are going to have to pursue a surrogate,” “I am done with this clinic,” “I’m not coming back here again.”  These are thoughts that I never voiced out loud or even admitted until after the boys were born and well.

On our way out of the operating room they gave us a picture of our embryos.  A picture I studied on the way home like I had done before and superstitiously carried around with me in my purse for weeks so they would be close to me. 

If you would have asked me that day what my life would look like one year from then, I would never have imagined that it would include these faces. 

But I’m so glad it does. 

I don’t know if I was at the end of my rope or if I had been tested to the point that I couldn’t be tested any further, but I do know that I have enjoyed every moment and have not taken a single second for granted with my boys because of the road I traveled to get here. 

It is fitting that this is National Infertility Awareness Week, a topic that I considered blogging about one year ago.  There is nothing I can do or say to take away the pain or give hope to the people currently dealing with infertility, but they are in my thoughts daily and I’m glad I can do my part to raise awareness to a topic that is not widely talked about.  

10 on 10

I have been wanting to do 10 on 10 for months maybe even years and today was the first day I actually stuck to it long enough to get more than 2 pictures. 

So here is a look at our crazy April day. 

6:30 am - This is what our windows looked like after the rain, hail, snow and wind we had last night. 

 7:30 am - The power went out when I was feeding Jase.

8:00 am  - Mike got the generator started and I let him know when it was working.  

 9:00 am - Story time. 

 10:00 am - The power is back on, just in time for the boys to try to watch the Price is Right. 

 10:30 am - In an effort to make sure the boys don't watch tv we tried some tummy time and there was less crying than usual. 

 12:00 - Lunch (and supper in the evening) with Grandma and Grandpa since they didn't have power. 

 2:00pm - Nap time. 

 All Day Everyday - Diapers

4:00 pm - Playtime. 

Easter

The boys had a pretty laid back first Easter.  Their easter basket had socks, shoes and books.  They didn't even end up wearing the shoes because we ran out of time to put them on before church. 

We were able to get pictures of us all dressed up after church.  With the grandparents too. 

3 Months

We have reached the 3 months mark and time has flown by.  When I thought about staying home with the twins on maternity leave I thought of all these things I would need to do to keep my sanity, but that time flew by and I am so happy I was able to enjoy the last 3 months with my boys.  Here are some things that happened in the last month.

• The boys are in separate beds.  After a few nights of having to wake up to separate them because they were knocking heads or kicking each other not to mention the fact that Jax was licking Jase's head in the middle of the night, we decided all of us would sleep better if they were in separate cribs.  
• They had their first trip to Omaha.  Mike had some meetings, so we took the opportunity to visit Grandma Karla, Uncle Kellen, the nurses at Heartland Fertility Center, do some shopping and spend the night at the Embassy Suites. 
• I went back to work and the boys started daycare.  I am easing back into work which is nice for me and Wendy is learning the ropes of watching twins.  On their first day they wore numbered shirts so Maddie could tell them apart.  
  
• Right now they are wearing 3 month and 3-6 month clothing. 
• We went on our first walk outside this month even though there have not been many "nice" days.

• We are not giving bottles at night any more.  Now they are old enough to only eat what they want and don't blindly eat whatever we give them, so there really wasn't any point to feeding them bottles.  It also makes middle of the night feedings go much faster when I don't have to heat up bottles.  
• Their nighttime sleeping ranges from 10:30 - 3:30 to 10:30 - 7:30.  They don't consistently sleep through the night, but they can and do sometimes. It is a wonderful feeling to wake up in the morning after a full night of sleep. 
• On the weekend mornings we bring the boys to our bed for a little bit to hang out as a family

• We visited the Goertzen farm to see our first baby calf. 

• They eat about 60ml-130ml in a setting. 
• Our daily eating schedule is roughly 4am, 8am, 10am, 12:30pm, 2:30pm, 5:30pm, 8 pm, 10:30pm.
• They recognize Mom and Dad and smile when they see us (if they aren't hungry or sleepy).
• They talked to each other in the morning when they slept in the same crib.
• We attended Trevor and Tiffany's wedding 

• We had our first trip to Kansas.  They boys did great on the drive and we stayed with Megan and Aaron for 2 nights.  
• We finally got a picture with all of the Bergen cousins after supper in Kearney one night. 

Had his first, second and third blow out this month, but the first was the worst. 

Has good head control but is a little wobbly. 

Doesn't understand the purpose of tummy time and just lays calmly on his tummy without moving his head. 

Found his loud cry. 

Was licking his brothers head at night.  We think it looked something like this...

Pulls his knees to his chest and rolls toward one side. 

Has bubbles in this mouth all the time. 

Has a big grin. 

Likes to watch TV. 

   Has a huge smile

 Coos/talks very loudly
Loves the monkeys on his bouncer

 

Likes to lay with his head to the left and has a pretty big flat spot that we are working on correcting
 Starting to suck on his hands

  Kicks legs and waves arms when he gets really excited

 Wakes up very happy in the morning

2 Months

I have been having some trouble with blogger lately with editing post I have already written and being able to access all of my photos on my computer, so this post doesn't have everything that I intended to post, but if I didn't get it posted soon the boys would be three months before I did.

Some of our exciting milestones for the boys at two months include:

• The start of social smiling by both boys
• Starting to vocalize regularly and as a reaction to people or things they like
• Both boys are batting at objects hanging above them, while it isn't always intentional they are starting to be more intentional with their movements at times
• There eye sight is getting much better and they can track people walking by.  This also means that the television catches their eye from time to time and I catch them watching it. 
• Staying in hotels for 3 nights
• Getting two month shots 
• The boys going to Lincoln with me alone for twin group
• Jax starting to sleep through the night from 10:30pm to 7 am. 
• Jase extending the amount of time he sleeps from 10:30 pm to 3:00-4:30ish am and then until 7 am.
• The boys go anywhere from 2-3.5 hours between day time feeding
• They follow an unstructured eat, play sleep pattern most days
• I feel much more comfortable taking the boys out and around on my own and we are often on the go, so our days have some variety

Here is a snapshot of our day

3:40 am - Jase wakes up and eats 80 ml before going back to sleep

6:35 am - Jase is up for the day and wants to eat 

7:00 am - Jax is up for the day and hungry 

        Both boys have awake time

7:30 am - Jase takes a nap

8:00 am - Jax takes a nap 

9:20 am - Jase wakes up and eats 

9:40 am - Jax wakes up and eats

       Both boys have awake time 

10:55 am - Jax and Jase take a nap 

11:30 am - Jax just wanted a cat nap and is now awake

12:00 pm - Jax eats

12:10 pm - Jase wakes up and eats

        Both boys have awake time

1:05 pm - Jax takes a name

1:45 pm - Jax is awake

2:10 pm - Jax eats

2:30 pm - Jase wakes up and eats

        Both boys have awake time

3:30 pm - both boys nap

5:00 pm - Both boys wake up 

5:00 pm - Jase eats

5:15 pm - Jax eats

        Both boys have awake time

6:30 - 7:00pm - Both boys nap 

7:10 pm - Jax eats

7:30 pm - Jase eats

8:30 pm - Jase falls asleep 

8:50 pm - Jax falls asleep 

10:30 pm - we wake both boys up to top them off before we put them to bed for the night.  Jase eats 90 ml and Jax eats 60 ml. 

At this point we are still giving two bottles of pumped milk at 10:30 pm and when the boys wake up during the night.  

During their awake time the boys usually play on the playmate, we read books, do tummy time, sing songs, and make funny faces with each other.  

I think that is about it for now.  Sorry for all of the words and few pictures.  Hopefully I can get blogger figured out before we reach 3 months (in two weeks).